When you walk, through a storm...

Brokeback

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:54:47 GMT

I’ve been taking part in a discussion on a forum about the portrayal of female superheroes in comics. The original post linked to this particular article, and the general consensus seems to have been that this is just someone who is being politically correct and has never read a comic before in their life. Comics have always been this way, its how we like them and we shouldn’t change them just because of some PC crap.

I personally think that’s not a fair response. Now, being a red blooded male, I’ll admit to liking female superheroes dressed in those skin tight outfits. I hated the run of Wonder Woman before the whole reboot because they changed her outfit from the usual outfit to a jacket and trousers, Wonder Woman has always had that recognisable look and I didn’t want it to change. However, I think there has been a growing trend of drawing these female characters in a titillating way just to draw in an audience. I don’t think its hard to tell that comic books has been a bit of a struggling art form as late, where they’re not as popular as they once were and I feel like this is scene as an easy go-to to try and pull in readers.

Now fair enough, I can understand that, and sometimes I enjoy it. What I don’t enjoy is when it seems to be at the sacrifice of a good story because in the end, what makes me read comics is the story and seeing how the characters evolve and deal with difficult situations. I think Red Hood and the Outlaws, and Catwoman are two examples where story has been sacrificed in favour of titillating the audience. The way Starfire has been portrayed is horrendous and I really don’t like the change to Catwoman. I loved Selina Kyle before the new 52. Her own series was great, seeing her relationship with Bruce develop was wonderful to see and then the run of Gotham City Sirens was fantastic. So of course I was ecstatic to see Catwoman having her own series in the new 52 and I got the first issue eagerly and what do I see? Depending on your viewpoint, she essentially rapes Batman. She doesn’t seem to be the fiercely independent and strong woman anymore. She looks more like a scared girl and I don’t like it.

So I agree somewhat with the original article. Now it’s not true in all cases, as usual this is a generalisation but I do get the feeling that when you see these characters being drawn like this, the story tends to be lacking. Whether the art draws away from the story, or just that the story isn’t good in the first place, I’m not sure, but it feels lacking.

But the impression I got from the discussion I was following was kind of different from the original link posted. The writer’s personal opinion was that the art detracts from the story. But now people are screaming about it’s the PC brigade trying to censor things and I think that’s a different issue. They claim that male superheroes are treated no differently than their female counterparts. Well I’m sorry everyone but you’re way wrong. It’s obvious to me that female superheroes are drawn very differently to male superheroes. That doesn’t mean that people are wrong for liking the way the female superheroes are drawn, that should be your choice, but to then claim that both are being treated equally is just ignorant in my opinion.

So I just felt the original issue actually had two discussions within it really and instead of ranting there, I decided to rant here instead.

comments

I love Frank Turner

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 13:26:54 GMT

I've not got round to getting Frank's new album yet, but I have every intention of doing so. However, I've heard a particular song repeatedly on his tour diaries on youtube and so I had to search it out and hear more about it. I think I really love the song but I can easily see it upsetting a lot of people who have quite strong religious beliefs.

My own thoughts of what I believe in often sometimes feel quite complicated. I'm still not fully sure on what I believe in. Something I do feel quite certain of is that God, or whatever higher being there is or is not up there, does not influence the way we live our life. I've always believed that if there is a God, he's left us to do what we want and we have to live with the consequences of the decisions we make. S/He is not some superhero who will swing it at the last moment to save us, its up to us to do so ourselves. I don't believe that there is some great plan. We're all responsible for what we do.

I think that's why I really connect with Frank's song who I'm sure many will be offended by when he sings that "there never was no God". The thing is, if you're strong in your beliefs, then why would you care about what some singer has to say? If someone like that is enough to shake your beliefs then its likely your beliefs were not that strong to begin with.

Regardless of whether you believe in God (or any other higher being/s), I think a lot of people should take to heart his second verse.

"Not cowering in the dark before some overbearing priest,
No waiting until we die until we restitute the meek,
Not blaming all our failings on imaginary beasts,
Because there never was no God.
Not fighting over land your distant fathers told you of,
No spilling blood for those who never spread a drop of love,
No finger pointing justified by phantoms up above,
Because there never was no God."

So do I believe in God? I suppose not in the classical Christian sense. I feel like what I've done for the past 27 years is to learn as much as I can and I've seen how much there is in the universe, the countless stars and galaxies, and how it was all likely to form. How the Earth was formed not in seven days but over billions of years. What happened before the big bang? Who knows, but I know of some theories. I think maybe there is some sort of higher being or higher power, but I don't believe it has the influence over us like most others may believe.

comments

Stolen soundtrack meme

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 15:31:35 GMT

I stole this from earthstarmoon. Any sort of meme that involves music usually steals my attention because god dammit, I love music.

( Music Meme )

comments

Sunburn

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 08:27:20 GMT

I love doing any of these things that involve music. The only thing I did was skip anything Japanese.

( Music Meme )

Questions 5 - 9 are my favourite responses. The rest are rubbish in my opinion.

comments

E3 2011 is Power

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 11:14:56 GMT

So I've been following the Giant Bomb coverage of E3 this past week and I think one of the (many) funny things to come from it is the idea that the song Power by Kanye West goes with every trailer. Two trailers were released this E3 using that song and it's been a joke that the song has been stuck in everyone's head. The Giant Bomb community took it upon itself to test the theory that the song goes with every trailer. I've selected a few of my personal favourites here.

Original thread http://www.giantbomb.com/forums/general-discussion/30/no-one-trailer-should-have-all-this-power/501231/?

This is one of the original trailers

And my personal favourite

EDIT: Ok, I just found this one and because I like Giant Bomb so much, this has to be a favourite too.

comments

Justice for the 96.

Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:15:02 GMT

I've talked about this plenty of times before. So I'm not going to repeat it over and over really. If you want to know about it, check the archives. I've usually made a post about it on this day in the past ever since I've had a journal. I just wanted to post this.

comments

New Haircut

Thu, 10 Mar 2011 20:08:24 GMT

So for the longest time, I had been thinking about what to do with my hair. Basically, I love my long hair. It was something that I enjoyed having. However, thanks to genetics, I was blessed with a receding hairline that has only been getting worse, and the fact my hair was getting more annoying to deal with. It was knotting up more than ever despite doing all I could to stop it. And also the side of my head, the hair would grow to a certain point and would stop growing, leaving me with a weird mad scientist look that I've been keeping in check by trimming.

I know that most people who end up with receding hairlines find that a very short haircut is the best solution. It's something I thought about on and off and chatted with Megan and my Mum about in passing. The response was usually something like. "No! Your beautiful long hair!". However, this week I've been considering it seriously all week and finally this morning I took the plunge. I basically have a short cut all over now and I don't know if its the best look for me, but I feel a lot better now, which I think is important. And most of the comments I've got on it have been pretty positive. So bye bye to long hair. I know have super short hair.

(I'm going to get a Gourry wig for when I want to indulge, which was half the reason I wanted long hair anyway :P)

From New Haircut

comments

This was kind of fun

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 14:58:54 GMT

Although I can see it quickly turning into a political argument, lol.

You can take the test yourself here.
http://www.politicalcompass.org/test

comments

Zadroga Bill

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 13:42:10 GMT

Just watched The Daily Show, and all I can say is that I'm completely sickened that the bill about tax cuts is the one being pushed through, yet the bill that's supposed to help the first responders who are now suffering from illness because of their actions on September 11th, 2001, is being filibustered. Seriously? That's how their priorities are?

comments

A little election funny

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 16:48:23 GMT

I thought I found this pretty funny and interesting.

http://www.whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com/

comments

Tue, 26 Oct 2010 08:38:10 GMT

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload) 5 songs you love that begin with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

dqbunny gave me G. Hmm? I wonder why? :P

( 'Get Fighted' by Alexisonfire )

( 'Get To Da Choppa' by Austrian Death Machine )

( 'Gracious' by Fightstar )

( 'Giving Up On Love' by The Ataris )

( 'Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)' by Green Day )

comments

You Can (Not) Advance

Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:02:26 GMT

So yes, I'm one of the few that actually enjoys Evangelion. Yes, I completely agree that the last few episodes and the movies were a complete mindfuck. But I love the series for the first 18 episodes or so. I love the animation style, I love the use of psychology, the physics psychbabble and the religious connotations. I love the story it represents and the history it has in place.

I've been following the new (rebuild) movies and only just recently got a hold of the second movie subtitles "You Can (Not) Advance". The first being called "You Are (Not) Alone". The first things that strike me when watching these is the animation and the attention to detail. Oh my God, it's beautiful. I don't think I've seen any other anime with such quality.

For those who don't know, the movies are essentially are retelling of the original series, but they throw a few twists and changes in. The first movie mainly concentrates on Shinji relunctantly becoming an Eva pilot like in the original series, and there is some emphasis on his relationship with Rei who is pretty introverted to the point of almost seeming cold and emotionless (which proves to me that Megumi Hayashibara is one of the best voice actors out there, going between Lina Inverse and Rei Ayanami is pretty incredible to me). The story here is almost point to point the same as the original series.

The second film however starts to bring a few changes. There's a new character introduced who seems to be one of the pilots based in America. Asuka's introduction is very different but her interaction with Shinji and Rei is the same (complete hate) but you don't get the weird fangirling over Kaji (Misato's ex). I feel like watching this, that they make an attempt to explain things more which I feel was never explained well in the original. I like the added details like how each country is only allowed a maximum of three Eva's active at once, hence later when the new Eva 03 is brought in, they have to stop using Eva 02, much to Asuka's extreme frustration. There are more changes involved too and the story appears to move much more quickly compared to the series, hence why I won't say much more else in case of spoilers for those who are interested and have not seen the movies yet.

I'm really looking towards the third movie and the fourth is supposed to introduce something completely new. But I'm loving the movies so far, the art style is so detailed, and the retelling of the story with certain changes brings a certain freshness to the series and something that I find more enjoyable.

The ending of both films so far have used the song Beautiful World by Utada Hikaru. The second film however ends with a remix which has been stuck in my head for days. I shall make you all suffer too (if you click on play).

I'm now obsessed with Evangelion again.

comments

Did I mention...

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 19:34:13 GMT

...that the sountrack to the Scott Pilgrim game is frigging AWESOME!!!

0:36 when in kicks in. *drools*

It looks like the soundtrack is officially out on the 24th August. I think I've been sweet enough that my darling wife will be kind enough to get it for me :P

comments

How about 6 2.0 USB ports and 2 3.0 USB ports! Suck it!

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 19:10:05 GMT

So when I make the move over to the US, I have to work out how to get my stuff here in the UK, to over there. Upon discussion with my wife, we kind of figured it might end up being cheaper ship some things, like books and video games, and leave other things behind, like my computer, and build one there.

So I decided to take a look at newegg.com and see if I could put together a decent little system for which I could use. And after about 30 minutes or so have deciding which components might be best, I came together with a system (no keyboard, mouse, webcam, or monitor) which cost around $850 (minus taxes and shipping). So I let Megan know.

(19:09:10) Mike: Ok, without shipping and taxes. I think I've put together a decent system for $841.92
(19:11:45) Mike: $858.76 with UPS 3 day service shipping
(19:12:12) Mike: That's without a mouse, keyboard, webcam and my dream of dual monitors :P
(19:19:32) MegsLeigh: And you say my iMac is expensive!!!'

Well, I decided to challenge her on this. I loaded up apple.com and looked at the selection of iMac's and did a comparison. It turned out the system I put together was best compared to the most expensive iMac that Apple has to offer. I chose an AMD Phenom II X6 T1090 which compares with an intel i7. The most expensive iMac? Only a quad core i5. Everything else was the same, memory, hard drive space. The only thing my system lost out on was graphics card. I had an ATI Radeon HD 4670. The iMac had the 4750. Remember how much my system cost. The iMac? $2,000.

But the iMac has a 27 inch display I hear you cry. Well, I've always wanted dual monitors and so I looked for two 24 inch monitors. Total cost? $440. Pushing my build up to $1300, still $700 cheaper than the iMac.

And just to add insult to injury.

(19:41:11) Mike: What's that? Your Mac has 4 2.0 USB ports?
(19:41:32) Mike: How about 6 2.0 USB ports and 2 3.0 USB ports! Suck it!
(19:42:21) MegsLeigh: Yes, dear, your balls are bigger than mine. *kisses your cheek*

(Yes I'm totally ignoring taxes but I bet it's still cheaper and better than a Mac :P)

comments

Layout and some games

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 10:59:46 GMT

So thanks to dqbunny and secondlina, I have a nice brand new LJ layout which I really love a lot. It's kind of funny that I got it updated considering how little I use this thing. But I guess I've always felt like I've never had anything interesting to say. And whenever I did have anything interesting to say, it usually involved dqbunny and she would post about it and basically I have a small fraction of those following her following me. So it ends up reaching essentially the same audience. More really when you think about it. But since the layout's been updated, I feel like I should say more.

Recently I picked up DeathSpank for the PS3. It's a fun little hack and slash style action RPG. You can tell a lot has been put into the story and it's trying to be pretty humorous. However, I've not particularly laughed all that much to the dialogue and I've found myself agreeing with a lot of critics in that the voice actor for DeathSpank himself is a little annoying. I find myself actually skipping the voiced dialogue and just read the text quickly. The gameplay itself is very addicting. You're doing stuff all the time, you're levelling up fairly regularly (I believe the cap is 20). You're collecting items all the time and due to the limited size of your inventory, you actually grind old armour and weapons you no longer need on a fairly regular basis. So it hooks you in the fact you feel like you're always progressing. It can also be fairly difficult until you start realising you need to actually use your block and that you can't just rush in and mash the face buttons repeatedly. I'm close to the end now and I've probably put in about 7-8 hours so far. I'm definitely enjoying it even though I'm not fond of the dialogue.

dqbunny actually picked up the second game I played recently. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is a side scrolling beat em up in the same vein as Streets of Rage or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade game. The Streets of Rage comparison is probably more apt as you have a kind of special power and can call for help with the use of the R1 and L1 buttons. There's also an RPG element in that you gain experience as you beat people up and gain levels, giving you access to new moves while also become stronger. I've only played the first two levels and already even on the easier difficulty, the game is fairly brutal. You get beat up fairly easily and it's rare for me to get through a level without losing at least two lives and you only have three. Luckily the game isn't over if you lose all three lives. You just have to start again from the beginning of the level which you died on. I love the look of it though, as it gives a real 8/16-bit feel and the soundtrack is pretty cool too. I can see playing with four people all together being a whole lot of fun.

As for personally how I'm doing. In all honesty, I don't think it's going great. I'm finding the PhD a real struggle in terms of motivation. A lot of it is down to self doubt I have in myself. It's just been nothing but a constant feeling of failure, more so because I'm not sure my undergraduate degree helped cater towards the PhD. The department I'm based at are all mainly observational astrophysicist, whereas I'm more theoretical. That requires me to do a lot of work with computer code to produce theoretical models. The problem is that I really feel like I don't understand the code I'm working with very well. I feel like I don't understand a lot of what I'm supposed to know. It doesn't help when I'm told by some that the project I'm working on was originally supposed to be for a postdoc position, but it was refused because it was too hard. So why I've been given it as only a postgrad, I'm not sure. There have times when I've wondered if I should just give it up. I'm already past three years which is when they want you to have completed everything. I'm not being funded any more. I'm just so lucky my parents put up with me living at home because if I wasn't, I would be in real trouble. The thing is. I'm not sure if I'm just too stupid, or I'm too stubborn but I just refuse to give up. I feel like I've spent all this time already, I want to get a PhD out of it. Finding the motivation is just so hard and I'm so scared that it's just going to be a complete failure. gullwhacker gave dqbunny a link to PhD Comic to show me. We both think I'm the infinite orbit.

UPDATE:
And of course Giant Bomb put up a Quick Look of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. I don't really get their negativity though. What they call weird with the game references, I find pretty fun and nostalgic. I've also never heard of Scott Pilgrim before until I saw trailers of the movie, which I am really interested in seeing, because again, I love the video game references (1ups, reversals, enemies exploding into coins like in No More Heroes along with the lightsabres). I also don't find Michael Cera that annoying. I find him to be a fairly funny actor who I guess plays characters I find myself easily relating to.

comments

This week, I have been mostly listening to.

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 12:51:47 GMT

Frank Turner. A lot.

( Frank Turner - 'Dan's Song' )

( Frank Turner - 'Isabel' )

And my favourite of the lot.

( Frank Turner - 'Try This At Home' )

comments

Stuck in the middle

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 16:26:10 GMT

So I took part in a protest yesterday outside Anfield, the stadium for Liverpool F.C.. The owners had decided that the manager's time was up and despite stating mutual consent, effectively sacked him and has left the club in a pretty sorry state. A number of us were of course angry and so a protest was planned. We chanted, we marched, we held up banners. We explained to the media why we were there and why we were so upset...and an American flag was burned.

My first thought when I saw this happen? I didn't like it. I didn't like the message that I felt it was sending. I had thoughts of Muslim extremists in the Middle East declaring their hatred for the U.S.. I thought about my wife being upset by what happened.

After a couple of hours, we were finally dispersed by the police and I headed home. I told Megan what happened immediately when she asked me how it went. I pretty much knew what her reaction would be. Afterwards my Dad had thought the same and thought about me not telling her. But I told her she had to know, because I was sure she would find out eventually.

So there I was, kind of stuck in the middle with my American wife on one side and a club that I've loved and adored for as long as I can remember. Of course Megan wins easily, but I can't help but look at what was done closer, and maybe explain to those who might read this who are Americans, why what happened happened.

The current owners, Tom Hicks and George Gillett are Americans and I won't go into details about all the lying and the mess they've put the club I love in. I've joined a union and spent a lot of time fighting (most likely futilely) to get them out of there. I believe that the burning of the American flag was done with two things in mind. The first was that it was aimed solely towards the owners. I honestly don't believe they burned the flag in a way to show general hatred towards all Americans. A manger who has given a lot of us wonderful times has been sacked unfairly and those supporters who burned that flag wanted to get back at them. The second reason was publicity. If what I read is right, I believe that what has happened has been seen in America and has caused a lot of outrage. They say something like there's no such thing as bad publicity. A lot of people know what we did now, a lot more than would normally happen at any protest I've attended.

Does it make what happened right? No, I don't think so. Even if I wasn't married to an American, that action wouldn't have sat right with me. However, can I see why it was done? Yes, I do. I suppose some of you might ask how I would feel if the reverse occured, and the St George, or Union Jack was burned. I personally wouldn't care. I think a lot of people in Liverpool wouldn't care. Culturally we're not as patriotic as those in the U.S., and especially in Liverpool, we feel very different to the rest of England and the U.K.. I've always joked with Megan when I say that I'm not English, I'm Scouse. But in a sense it's true. I'm more proud of being from Liverpool than I am from England, or the U.K.

Anyway. I just felt like I had to write about it, and I guess I'm interested to see what you guys think.

comments

lip wibble

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 12:21:10 GMT

So I'm in the middle of my lunch break and decide to see if the new episode of PATV (Penny Arcade) was up. It was and so I started watching it...and wow. www.penny-arcade.com/patv/pa-the-series/116/ . The bit at 3:18 had me struggling from fighting back the tears. Exactly why I contribute to Child's Play. No, it's not going to save a childs life. But just maybe it will make it that bit more bearable.

comments

Justice for the 96. YNWA.

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 11:37:00 GMT

That time of year again. I'd explain things, but I think I've done it enough. If you're not sure what's going on, read the below text and also check back in my journal for posts around the 15th April a few years back. I've usually posted something each time. JFT96. YNWA.

Heroes: April 15 1989

It started like any other morning. A bright crisp spring morning, the beauty of the Snake Pass in the Peak District was breathtaking, as we travelled to the FA Cup semi-final being held at Hillsborough, Sheffield between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest. Little did we know that the coming day would forever change our lives and the game we loved. After an uneventful journey, we arrived at the ground at about 2pm as we had done the previous year, at the same venue against the same team. Only this year things were different, outside the Leppings Lane it was absolute chaos.

The year before the police had appeared organised with a cordon checking tickets at the end of the road. This year things seemed to have gone badly wrong, with one or two mounted policemen in the middle of a massed motionless crowd. It was the sight no football fan wanted to see outside a ground: non-existent queues, no obvious police presence and no stewards. I had been in these situations many times before outside the Kop during the 70s prior to all-ticket games, and outside many away grounds - most notably Wolves in 1976 and of course Wembley, especially against Everton in 1986.

I knew the futility of getting into a crowd and trying to get to a turnstile! You panic, you sweat, you struggle to breathe and just as you get to within touching distance of the entrance you are sure to hit by a sway that takes you back to where you started. So I decided to go and get something to eat from a nearby shop and wait for the police to get their act together.

By 2.30pm it became obvious the situation wasn't going to get any better. So I reluctantly entered the crowd. It must be emphasised these were Liverpool fans with tickets, the touts I talked to that day were struggling, business was as they say "on the floor" compared to the same lucrative match the year before. This was not a ticketless crowd trying to bunk in or force the authorities to open the gates, this was a good-humoured crowd who deserved proper organisation, who wanted it, who were demanding it. Alas it was not forthcoming!

After ten to fifteen minutes of movement, invariably sideways and getting no nearer to the turnstiles, I saw fans climbing onto the turnstiles screaming at the police inside the ground to do something. Nothing happened. By 2.55pm, a sway took me to within inches of the turnstile. This was it; I was in, relief, emotion, I could hear the teams coming out onto the pitch, the roar of the crowd, another few agonising steps and I had made it.

Once inside, I was met by a jovial group of policemen, I told them in no uncertain terms that somebody was going to die outside the ground unless they did something quickly. They had to open the gates, I pleaded. I wasn't the only one. Most people, who staggered through the turnstiles due to sheer exhaustion, were also telling the police to get their act together. The common consensus was that they had to do something otherwise there would be a fatality or serious injuries outside the ground.

Either side of the Leppings Lane end were stairs into the side sections (which we now know were nearly empty). The gaping black hole of the Leppings Lane tunnel lead directly into the middle of the already packed terracing. No-one could have imagined the consequences of heading into that tunnel. The simple solution to such congestion would have been for club stewards and/or police to block off the central tunnel and funnel fans to the side sections. I had a ticket for the North stand so I went left but if I had had a ticket for the terraces I would have certainly gone into that tunnel.

Once inside I think I saw Liverpool hit the bar as I certainly know the game had already started before I found my seat. After a couple more minutes, a fan appeared on the pitch. He seemed unsteady on his feet, nobody had the faintest idea of what was happening and then more and more people spilled out onto the pitch.

The referee took the players off. I didn't think trouble, I immediately thought overcrowding. The Leppings Lane had been uncomfortable the year before and was well known in football circles for being a crap end. More and more people started to fill the pitch and Forest fans began to sing "You Scouse bastards" thinking that this was indeed a pitch invasion.

It soon became obvious that something more serious was happening but still the enormity of the tragedy could not have been imagined. After 20 minutes or so, an ambulance appeared at the opposite end of Leppings Lane and drove along the edge of the pitch. Around about the same time the police inexplicably set up a cordon across the halfway line. About 50 or so policemen stood there throughout the duration as the tragedy unfolded, making jovial smalltalk and passing the time of day. Presumably some of these people would have had first-aid skills but were under orders to stay on the halfway line. I know this because at 3.30pm I went onto the pitch and asked them why they were standing there and what was happening. It soon became obvious as the injured, dying and deceased were carried on the advertising hoardings, the vivid image we now know so well.

Most people on the pitch that day were bewildered, feeling either hopeless, confused or inadequate. I saw heroes that day and the majority were not in uniform. The real heroes that day were the ordinary Liverpool fans who seemed to take control of the operation, taking casualties to the opposite end of the pitch and laying the fans in the penalty area, in front of the Hillsborough Kop.

As the Liverpool fans tried to revive lifeless bodies, I felt totally inadequate. I tried to convince myself that these people had simply lost consciousness but in my heart of hearts I think I knew they were dead. The line of police looked on. Some people refused to give up pumping chests of complete strangers or maybe loved ones, giving the kiss of life to fellow Liverpool fans as the line of the police looked on.

The heroes of April 15 1989 were the ordinary Liverpool fans. Whoever you were; I salute you, your role in the tragedy unbelievably tarnished by the gutter press cover-up the following week.

That day, that night, that week, that year, that decade, I was inconsolable. But I was also proud to be a Liverpudlian. I had witnessed the selflessness, courage and dignity you afforded the dead and dying before they were handed over to the authorities. 96 RIP.

© Peter Hooton 2004

comments

"The socialism I believe in..."

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 14:38:36 GMT

"...is everyone working for each other, everyone having a share of the rewards. It's the way I see football, it's the way I see life." Bill Shankly, Liverpool F.C. Manager, b. 1913, d. 1981.

I've been following a lot of the health care reform that's been going on in the US. I feel it's important I try to follow things like this because there is a likelihood I'll be moving there pretty soon and living there permanently. And so things like the health care reform will affect me, it's entirely possible that with the reform, I'll be capable of getting health care where beforehand, I would be rejected because of my pre-existing conditions (two holes in my heart, now one thanks to surgery, and the TIA I suffered.)

The thing that's struck me most, is the attack of a lot of people on the health care reform. Attacking it because of some sort of socialist value, as though that's a horrible thing. It's struck me, because where I'm from, and this is Liverpool as opposed to England, the values of socialism are an ideal that a lot of people agree with and strive for. Why would you not want to help your fellow man? For a country that looks to God so much, I'm shocked by it's lack of Christian values when it seems to me that most are more interested in looking after number one rather than anyone else.

It feels like it's a throw back to the cold war, about the mass fear people had of the Russians, and that they followed communism but look how terrible their lives are, and if they won, the same would happen in the US. The Russians never followed communism, and the Chinese never have. Communism is a wonderful idea, where the wealth and resources of a nation are shared equally among everyone. Why is that such a horrible thing to work for? Are people that greedy in wanting more than anyone else? Surely if the everything was shared equally, everyone would live comfortably, happily and healthily.

The problem is that there are people out there who are inherently evil and greedy. Communism doesn't work because people want more, and those in power, take what they want and leave the rest with nothing. The ideals and values behind socialism is not evil. And that's what I see when these people cry socialist, and socialism in anger about the change to their healthcare. Greed. It works for me, so why should I care about anyone else.

I live in a country with socialised health care. Where police, fireman, and the libraries are paid for with taxes so people get access to those services for free when needed. Strange, I believe the police, firemen, and the libraries are paid for by the exact same method in the US.

I know that the reform in the US is not producing a health care system like here in the UK. I don't think the US could ever achieve it. I just get angry because I feel like when people refer to the system we have in place with such negativity, I have to stand up and say you're wrong, and I like to think I'm proof of that with the issues I've had to deal with in the past 6 months.

Really, what's so bad about socialism.

comments

Does Karma exist?

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:02:18 GMT

I've felt like I've been in a strange haze this past week. With all that was going on with my heart, I've not been doing as much work for my PhD which has frustrated me but my mind's just not been in the right state.

Today I had my appointment at the anti coagulant clinic, and it was a long day of waiting, for blood to be taken and to see the doctor. I've now got the prescription and I'm to see the doctor again on Thursday, basically to check how my INR levels are doing and then I'll be told what I'm to take to try and regulate the INR levels to around 2.5. I'm currently at 1.2. We're still waiting to hear from Dr Morrison about my case notes which will determine if I'm to have surgery or further examinations. My Mum is going to chase up the secretary tomorrow to see where they are up to.

Yesterday (Sunday), I was at the Liverpool vs Arsenal game. I didn't actually watch the match. I was helping the union I'm a part of, trying to hand out leaflets and also to stop our owners from entering the stadium, which I'm happy to say we were mostly successful with. One of them got turned away by police due to health and safety concerns (an angry mob of supporters :P). The son of the other owner managed to sneak it just at kick off which was annoying but we disrupted him anyway, and apparently he didn't leave until much later after the game since he was scared.

Anyway, I missed a lot of what went on because I stayed at the corner of the stadium called Flagpole Corner, handing out flyers which detailed reasons why our union is unhappy with the current ownership. There was an older Indian woman who was also part of the union helping out, and we were generally chatting to each other. Commenting on how some of our support just don't care when they should. Anyway, she was going to watch the game, but before she left, she came to me and handed me something. They were executive box tickets to the Wednesday game against Wigan. I was absolutely gobsmacked. She said that one was for me and the other was for my Dad. I had earlier explained that instead of seeing the game that day, I was going home to watch it with my Dad and that I didn't get to many Premier League games. I only really got to see the European games. So I guess from that, she decided to hand me those tickets for Wednesday and she explained that she was going to help me with the game after that. I couldn't believe the generosity of her. I was so stunned, I didn't even get to ask her name.

I spoke to my friend Paul (who is a committee member) and he was amazed too, but later said that I really deserved it. With all the help I've committed to the union, the signed shirt I gave away to Michael Shields, the worries with the TIA and my heart. I just kept saying I felt bad, like I didn't deserve it but he was adamant. So yeah, I wonder if Karma exists because things haven't been super great but those tickets are just a wonderfully generous gift. So I'll see her on Wednesday, and I will apologise for not asking her what her name was, and I'll be thanking her profusely.

comments

Everyone ready for today's biology lesson?

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:20:31 GMT

Yeah, I was always rubbish at biology but that's practically what was discussed today with the doctor at the Liverpool Heart and Chest Hospital. So it was a bit strange when I showed up as there definitely seemed to be a bit of a rushed, or last minute thing with me turning up today. Some people knew straight away why I was there, others seemed very confused and had to ask quite a few questions. My parents theory? That they know they've seriously screwed up and rather than there being a cancellation, they were trying to rush me in to make up for the mistake.

So after having an echocardiagram for what felt like the 100th time, I saw the doctor and gave him a full history of everything that happened and my previous history of having the holes in my heart checked. He then discussed the idea of what was going on. Sorry for those who know this already but I thought it might be good to explain it to those who don't understand it all.

The heart is made up of essentially two parts. The atria which are essentially the filling chambers, and the ventricles which pump the blood. These are then split up into a right side and the left side. Blood circles around the body, depositing oxygen and nutrients and returns to the heart with all the rubbish and things the body doesn't need. This fills up the right atrium, and is pushed out by the right ventricle to the lungs. The lungs act as a big filtering system, cleaning out all the crap including micro blood clots. Once cleaned and full up with oxygen, the blood returns to the heart and fills up the left atrium and is pushed to the rest of the body through the left ventricle.

The end...

Well not in my case. From birth I had two holes in my heart. One in the septum of the atrium and the other in the septum of the ventricle. The septums (what is the plural of septum? septi?) are what separate the left and right side of the hearts. These are called ventricular septal defect (VSD) and atrial septal defects (ASD).

Now back to why I had a TIA. A Transient Ischaemic Attack (TIA) is the result of a small blood clot entering the brain and stopping blood flow for a few moments before passing on causing no lasting problems. The question then, is how does a blood clot get to my brain. They had done tests and found there was no issue with my blood clotting abnormally, or issues with the arteries in my neck. The doctor at the Royal learned about the two holes in my heart and figured that this could have been the cause.

The issue is not with the VSD, since the pressure in the left ventricle is much higher than that in the right ventricle. So what happens there is that clean blood actually passes through into right side of the heart where all the "muck" is. The problem is actually in the atrium. The pressure in the left side of the atrium is only very slightly higher than it is in the right. So what can happen is that by any sort of straining, such as lifting things, coughing, walking, going to the bathroom, can cause the pressure in the right side of the atrium to be temporarily higher than the left. Which means the "dirty" blood can pass into the "clean" left side, which is then pumped to the rest of the body, including the brain.

So the situation we have is that the doctor at the CTC does not have all of my notes from when I was at Alder Hey Children's Hospital, and he has some notes missing from the Royal Liverpool Hospital too. So he wants to gather all of those. At the moment he can clear see the VSD but not the ASD. However I do remember clearly from my trip to Alder Hey about 10 years ago now, of being told I had both ASD and VSD. I got the impression that when the doctor found conclusive evidence of the ASD, he's going to perform surgery.

The way they are going to do this is through use of the Amplatzer Septal Occluder, which is surgery done using a catheter which avoids open heart surgery. This is a minor procedure and definitely not major surgery. I think this is going to be the route they will go though, unless the doctor is completely positive that the ASD is no longer there.

So that's where we're up to. Just waiting for the doctor to get the rest of my case notes and we'll be moving on from there.

comments

Surprise!?

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:37:36 GMT

So just to update what Megan spoke about yesterday. The wandering secretary contacting my Mum's ward today to let her know that someone cancelled their appointment with Dr Morrison tomorrow and would I like it instead. My Mum said she couldn't refuse, so rather than waiting to hear on Friday whether I would have an appointment with him in late January or surgery on the 22nd of this month, I actually have an appointment tomorrow. So things seem to be moving a little quicker than initially expected.

comments

A Dream

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:33:19 GMT

That song I posted yesterday gave me a little bit of inspiration.

If the video is blocked (WMG has blocked it from some countries), then please tell me and I will try to upload a version to photobucket.

comments

Grey Britain

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:07:30 GMT

I had a copy of an album by the hardcore punk outfit Gallows, called Grey Britain. I hadn't properly listened to it since I obtained it, but while I've been feeling crappy (cold/man flu) I decided to listen to it all the way through. It's quite a bleak album, lots of negative themes about how bad Britain has gone, socially, politically and economically. I think this is shown the strongest in the final track of the album, which has the singer Frank Carter basically mentioning everything that is wrong. What really interests me with the song is how it starts so aggressively, but then after it's done, it leads into a really haunting section and then at 4:18 you get this really soft beautiful melody. Then it climaxes at 6:38 with a section that has repeatedly given me goosebumps.

Just a prior warning, the song title itself is explicit and again with explicit language in the song itself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebb5AUw1DF0

comments